The Tattoos of Xu and Q
by sissyHIYAH
Summary: Just random silliness. I really just wanted an excuse to put the title on my page. I like rhyme-y things. Xu, Quistis, and Selphie drunk in a tattoo parlor. Bored at work and didn't want to write anything serious. Review if you'd like.


Note: Yes, completely out of character and very, very short. But, it was really just an excuse to get the title online. I like it much better than the story. Still, this was kind of fun.

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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-dab-dab-dab…

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-dab-dab-dab…

ZZZZZZZZZ-dab-dab-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

"You okay, sweetheart? Need a break?" The owner of the _You Pick It, I Stick It_ tattoo and piercing parlor added a bit more red to the flames surrounding his latest masterpiece. It was a beautiful tattoo. "I can stop for a while if you want to. Most gals like to take a break, especially with such a big piece."

"Hell no! Keep going! I want to see my firebird!" Xu grinned drunkenly at the very friendly tattoo artist. Rather, she grinned drunkenly at his reflection. Mirrors surrounded the adjustable chair, allowing her a fine view of his tat-covered arms. Flames and outline completed, he began filling in the warm reds and oranges of a screaming phoenix on her upper back. "Alright then, sweetheart. It's looking good. Real good." He leaned back, relaxing the cramps in his hands as he admired the new ink…and the sculpted muscles of Xu's shoulders. Today had been a good day for his shop. This raven-haired soldier was his third customer from that military institution. If all soldiers were as ink-hungry as these chicks, then he really should move his business to Balamb. Plus, they came in all different flavors…blonde, brunette, and midnight black. All he needed was a redhead and he'd have the whole set.

"Hey Q! Q! How're ya doin' over there?" Xu craned her neck, eager to see what progress had been made on her friend. It had been her idea, after all. Sitting at the bar, Quistis suggested they all get tattoos to commemorate their vacation. Once she got a few shots in her, straight-laced Instructor Trepe kind of…well, lost her laces. Straight or otherwise. There had been a bet going between Xu and Selphie all that day. Xu said it would take nine shots before she lost her clothes, while Selphie said it would only take six. Fifty gil were riding on the behavior of Topless Trepe. Right now, the count was four shots for each girl, but after the tattoos, they were hitting another bar. Xu knew that she would finish this day fifty gil richer. Even if she had to get Selphie so drunk that she wouldn't remember the bet. Sure, she'd probably spend more than she'd win, but damn it, it was the principle of the thing.

She chuckled. The last time she partied with Quistis, Xu had to hit a biker with a pool cue. He insisted that the beads were her idea. Her idea or not, there was no reason for him to try to get her on the back of his bike with no sunblock. And no shirt. Fucking inconsiderate pig. Or was it a hog? What did he call himself again? Either way, he was a jerk. Slightly worried, Xu yelled louder. "Quistis! Where are you?"

"Hee hee! Her tattoo has _been_ finished, Xu. You're the one that had to pick something the size of the Galbadian Plains. She's in the back room with that smoking hot dude with the cool accent. He said something about a free piercing since she liked his work so much." Selphie wheeled around, still searching for her inspiration. Decisions, decisions. Wall to wall decisions. The skull and crossbones looked fucking awesome, so did the purple snake, but she really wanted to put some random guys name on her ass cheek. Let Irvine think _that_ one over. Cheating bastard. 'Big Dick Rick Was Here'. She giggled. Yeah…that would work. It would look fricking amazing when she wore her short yellow dress. And no panties. There was nothing else like another man's name on a cheek to get his attention.

"Well? What did she get?" Xu leaned a little too far, making the tattoo gun jump slightly. Wincing, the artist decided to just add another feather to her little mistake. "Hey…easy now. You don't want your phoenix to have two heads, do you? Don't start weaving or it'll mess up the whole damn thing. They're kind of permanent, you know."

"I think it was in some crazy language, maybe Old Estharian. She said it meant _Lucky_." She jerked her thumb towards the curtain separating the front of the shop from the private rooms where more intimate anatomical bits could be adorned. "And judging from the sounds back there, I guess she was right. Good old Quisty always was fucking great with words. I think the guy that did hers must be a brain too. They started speaking to each other in whatever language it was, then they took off to the back." Just as Selphie finished her tale, they heard Quistis moan some foreign words. Selphie whistled. "Wow. Hey Xu. Was that a good scream or a bad scream? She either had the single most painful experience ever, or he just gave her the ride of a lifetime. I've got ten gil on the big O. Whatcha think?"

"Ha! That's her 'I just woke up with a killer hangover' yell. I'll take that bet."

"Ten gil it is."

Quistis fell out of the back room; blonde hair tangled and glasses askew. She beamed at Selphie and Xu after she adjusted her clothing. "Um, he is a very, very intelligent young man. Very, um, knowledgeable about foreign tongues."

"Booyaka bitch! That's ten gil, Xu! You want to pay now, or pay all at once? You know, once I win the bet."

Xu raised her middle finger to the prancing figure ricocheting from one wall of tattoos to the other. She needed to make up her mind before it was time to hit the bar again. "Hey Q! C'mere and let me see your tat! And Selphie said something about a free piercing. Where'd you put it?"

Quistis hesitated briefly before pulling her collar down. Showing the tattoo wasn't a problem. The ink was just on her right shoulder. But the piercing…hmm. Xu had been her best friend for years, but she didn't think that their relationship extended quite _that _far. Friends had to have some secrets, after all. "What do you think?"

"Q, what the fuck does that say?"

"Why, it means _Fortunate_ in Old Estharian."

"Well, that seems kind of silly, don't you think?"

"Just as silly as a giant chocobo sitting in a pile of leaves, I suppose." Quistis looked over the artist's shoulder as he finished Xu's tattoo.

"What the hell? It's a phoenix rising from flames, Q."

"Really? Oh…it's lovely. Yeah. Lovely."

Xu sobered quickly when she saw Quistis glance at Selphie. It had damn well better be a bitching firebird, not some chicken-looking chocobo. She'd _pick it and stick it_ right up the owner's ass if he fucked up her tattoo. At least Quistis had long hair to cover hers if she didn't like it. Xu had kept it short for so long, she didn't know if her hair could even grow past her ears. "Alright buster. If you've messed this up, I'll take my foot and…"

Quistis burst into laughter. "Holy hell, Xu! I hope you looked in the mirror just then. Your face was priceless. Your tattoo is fine. Really. It's very, very pretty."

"Really? Selphie, is she lying again?"

"Nope! It's a work of art. But…"

"But what? What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing's wrong…it just hit me. Quisty, what exactly did you do with that guy back there?"

"What? We discussed old languages."

"No. Not what you talked about…what did you do? You weren't naked at any point, were you?"

"Well…not entirely. He only had a few minutes for his break, you see."

"Ah ha! Hurry the hell up, Xu! She's only four shots in and already halfway to slut-ville. If we make it to the bar now, I can have her dancing on the tables by shot number six. Your fifty gil is mine!"

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